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Closed Strip Club

Admiral Theatre

Chicago, IL 3940 W Lawrence Ave 773-478-8111
Closed Opens 17:00 today
Strip Club Topless 21+
Hours
MON 17:00 - 06:00
TUE 17:00 - 06:00
WED 17:00 - 06:00
THU 17:00 - 06:00 TODAY
FRI 17:00 - 06:00
SAT 17:00 - 06:00
SUN 17:00 - 06:00
On tap
WiFi
52/100

Underwhelming experience, with some decent dancers.

The Admiral Theatre falls short in multiple areas, but its performers shine. The lackluster food and drinks, combined with subpar amenities, make it hard to recommend. However, fans of dancing might find some enjoyment, so it's worth visiting for that.

How this is scored
49/100

Underwhelming space with a mediocre location.

The Admiral's space is unremarkable, with a mediocre location that's not particularly convenient. The parking situation is a hassle, and the luxury vibe is nonexistent. If you're looking for a high-end experience, keep looking.

How property is scored
HOW PROPERTY IS SCORED

Property weighting

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

PROPERTY · 49/100

The room

Underwhelming space with a mediocre location.

The Admiral's space is unremarkable, with a mediocre location that's not particularly convenient. The parking situation is a hassle, and the luxury vibe is nonexistent. If you're looking for a high-end experience, keep looking.

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Atmosphere 7.0
  • Location 5.1
  • Privacy 4.3
  • Parking 3.4
  • Luxury 4.3
  • Amenities 3.4
  • Capacity 5.1
57/100

Decent door service, but terrible bar service.

The door service is one of the highlights, with friendly and attentive staff. However, the bar service is a letdown, with slow and unfriendly service. Overall, the service feels inconsistent and could be improved.

How service is scored
HOW SERVICE IS SCORED

Service weighting

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

SERVICE · 57/100

The hospitality

Decent door service, but terrible bar service.

The door service is one of the highlights, with friendly and attentive staff. However, the bar service is a letdown, with slow and unfriendly service. Overall, the service feels inconsistent and could be improved.

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Door service 7.0
  • Bar service 3.4
  • Speed 5.1
  • Respect 7.0
  • Safety 7.0
  • Cleanliness 5.1
  • Value 4.3
40/100

Skip the food and stick to drinks.

The food at the Admiral Theatre is a hard pass. The quality is low, and the prices are astronomical. Stick to the drinks, which are at least decent.

How food is scored
HOW FOOD IS SCORED

Food weighting

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

FOOD · 40/100

The kitchen

Skip the food and stick to drinks.

The food at the Admiral Theatre is a hard pass. The quality is low, and the prices are astronomical. Stick to the drinks, which are at least decent.

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Food quality 1.0
  • Food prices 1.0
  • Drink prices 4.3
  • Bottle prices 3.4
  • Luxury 4.3
  • Cigars & hookah 1.0
  • Value 4.3
56/100

Great performers, but not worth the mediocre value.

The performers at the Admiral Theatre are a strong point, with great talent and professionalism. However, the value for money is mediocre, and the VIP experience doesn't live up to expectations. If you're a fan of dancing, you might enjoy the shows, but be prepared for a pricey night out.

How performers is scored
HOW PERFORMERS IS SCORED

Performers weighting

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

PERFORMERS · 56/100

The floor

Great performers, but not worth the mediocre value.

The performers at the Admiral Theatre are a strong point, with great talent and professionalism. However, the value for money is mediocre, and the VIP experience doesn't live up to expectations. If you're a fan of dancing, you might enjoy the shows, but be prepared for a pricey night out.

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Talent quality 7.0
  • Appearance & style 5.1
  • Interaction 5.1
  • Professionalism 7.0
  • VIP value 4.3
  • Dance value 5.1
HOW IT'S SCORED

Overall SW Score weighting

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

SW SCORE · 52/100

How scoring works

Underwhelming experience, with some decent dancers.

The Admiral Theatre falls short in multiple areas, but its performers shine. The lackluster food and drinks, combined with subpar amenities, make it hard to recommend. However, fans of dancing might find some enjoyment, so it's worth visiting for that.

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.

Dimension scores
  • Property 49
  • Service 57
  • Food 40
  • Performers 56
  • Value 44
Rate this club

Your take, one tap at a time.

A quick 6-step walkthrough — 4 categories of spiderweb ratings plus a written review at the end. Takes about 2 minutes.

0 of 27 rated

What the floor said

25 reviews
90/100 SW score
Bachelor Party Frenzy We had an epic bachelor party night at the Admiral Theatre! The BYOB policy saved us money on drinks, and the lively atmosphere got everyone pumped. The dancers were top-notch, but the crowd was a bit rowdy at times.
70/100 SW score
Moderate Fun I've been to the Admiral Theatre a few times, and it's always a decent night out. The theater-style stage is a nice touch, and the staff is friendly. However, the parking can be tough, and the drinks could be cheaper.
50/100 SW score
Mixed Bag As a first-timer, I was expecting more from the Admiral Theatre. The dancers were okay, but the crowd was a bit too rowdy for my taste. The BYOB policy was cool, but the lack of amenities and poor parking made it a bit of a hassle.
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