Crazy Horse

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

More like a dingy motel than a luxury lounge.

The property scores low across the board, with a cramped and dingy atmosphere that's more like a motel than a luxury lounge. The location is okay, but the parking situation is a nightmare. Unless you're desperate, it's best to skip this one.

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Friendly staff, but that's about it.

While the staff at Crazy Horse are friendly and welcoming, the service itself is a bit of a letdown. The speed of service is slow, and the cleanliness of the club could be better. That being said, the respect shown by staff to patrons is a redeeming quality.

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Overpriced swill with a side of mediocre bottles.

The food and drink options at Crazy Horse are a major letdown. The quality of the food is mediocre, and the prices are outrageous. The only positive is the decent bottle selection, but even that's not enough to save the club from its overall mediocrity.

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Talented dancers, but the rest is a mess.

The performers at Crazy Horse are the only redeeming quality of the club. The talented dancers bring a much-needed spark to the otherwise dull experience. However, the professionalism of the staff and the overall value for money are major drawbacks that prevent the club from being a must-visit destination.

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

A total disaster from start to finish.

Crazy Horse is a club that fails to deliver on even the basics. The property is cramped and uninviting, while the service is friendly but disorganized. Overall, it's a disappointing experience that's better avoided.

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.