Crazy Horse Cabaret

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Nowhere you'd want to spend time.

The room itself is a problem. Zero on atmosphere, luxury, amenities, capacity, and privacy. The location and parking are equally bad. You'll walk in and immediately wonder why you came.

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Ignored from door to last drink.

Door staff, bar staff, speed, respect, safety, cleanliness—all a complete miss. You won't be greeted, won't be looked after, and won't feel welcome. Service is nonexistent.

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Overpriced swill, skip it entirely.

Food quality, drink quality, pricing on food, bottles, and drinks—all terrible. Overpriced garbage. Don't order anything; just drink water and leave.

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

No talent, no appeal, no reason.

Zero talent, zero professionalism, zero interaction, zero appeal. The dancers are unmotivated, unprofessional, and forgettable. This is the worst part of an already bad experience.

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

Complete zero across the board—don't bother.

Every metric flatlines here. Atmosphere, luxury, amenities, location, parking—all dead. This isn't a club worth visiting; it's a place to avoid. There's nothing to redeem it.

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.