Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Two-stage layout with three poles each; ample free parking, rustic wood throughout.

Highway 12 location just outside the Dells offers easy I-90/94 access and free parking in a large lot, though the tourist-adjacent setting means weekend crowds can be chaotic. The main floor features a central L-shaped stage with a smaller elevated stage upstairs; both are well-lit with multiple poles and comfortable seating. Wood-heavy decor and clean restrooms appeal to the snowmobiler/hunter crowd, and the balcony area works for larger parties. Capacity feels spacious on slow nights, cramped during peak hours.

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Bar staff efficient and friendly; door staff variable; clean restrooms and seating.

Bartenders are attentive and friendly; door staff professionalism varies (one reviewer reported grumpiness when trying to meet a dancer). Cleanliness is a consistent highlight—restrooms and private areas are well-maintained. No drink requirement, and service speed is solid. Safety is adequate, though one reviewer noted thin weeknight crowds mean less active floor supervision. Overall hospitable but not luxury-level.

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Drink prices reasonable for the area, around $5–$7 as of 2024 reviews; no food draw.

No food kitchen; drinks are the draw. Beer and simple top-shelf cocktails run $5–$7 as of 2024 reviews, which is fair for the Dells area. Bottle service is marked up roughly double retail. No cigars, hookah, or food offerings—this is purely a drink-and-watch venue.

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Attractive roster, but stage work inconsistent; private dances $40, often slow off-peak.

Roster is attractive and diverse (white, Asian, Hispanic, mature/MILF types reported), but professionalism is uneven. Stage work is solid when crowds are present; during slow nights or sports broadcasts, dancers often disappear or sit idle. Private dances are $40 per song and happen in a basement area. Reviewers note some dancers are genuinely engaging and friendly (memorable mentions of Kasha and Shadow), while others adopt an aloof 'I'm beautiful and untouchable' attitude. Best experiences reported on slower evenings with smaller groups or bachelor parties, when dancers offer more personal attention.

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

Log-cabin Dells room: solid stages, fair drinks, dancers uneven on engagement.

Cruisin' Chubbys is a well-maintained two-stage venue on Highway 12 that delivers solid shows and a comfortable room, but dancer engagement and floor activity swing wildly depending on crowd size and game schedules. Reviewers consistently praise the log-cabin aesthetic, spacious layout, and reasonable bar prices (roughly $5–$7 as of recent reviews), yet flag inconsistent dancer professionalism—some are outgoing and attentive, others aloof or glued to phones during sports broadcasts. Best bet: weekday evenings or slow nights when staff attention is higher and one-on-one interaction more likely.

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.