French Quarter

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Cramped, dark, nowhere to sit comfortably.

Atmosphere, luxury, and amenities are all zeros. The location doesn't help, parking is a nightmare, and the space feels cramped and poorly maintained. You'll spend the night uncomfortable and wishing you left.

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Ignored at the door, slow drinks, dirty.

Door staff ignore you, bartenders move at a crawl, and cleanliness is visibly bad. Respect and safety aren't priorities here. The whole experience screams indifference—go somewhere else.

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Overpriced garbage, skip the kitchen entirely.

Everything costs too much for what you get. Food quality is poor, drinks are overpriced, and bottles are a ripoff. Don't expect anything edible or worth the money.

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Low-effort dancers, no hustle, no charm.

Talent is absent, interaction is minimal, and professionalism doesn't exist. They're here for a paycheck, not to entertain. VIP value and dance quality are both nonexistent.

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

French Quarter is a complete bust.

Every dimension flatlines here. Atmosphere is nonexistent, the room feels neglected, staff doesn't care, the bar is slow and overpriced, and the dancers phone it in. There's nothing to recommend—not even as a last resort.

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.