SW Community
Closed Strip Club

Hong Kong Spa

New Orleans, LA 9000 Chef Menteur Hwy #P (504) 242-4070
Closed
Strip Club Topless 21+
Hours
Hours not published.
On tap
VIP Rooms
Private Booths
16/100

All-around disaster.

The club's low scores across the board make it a forgettable experience. From the lackluster atmosphere to the unimpressive performers, there's little to redeem it. Unless you're looking for a place to avoid, there's no reason to give this club a try.

How this is scored
24/100

Don't bother with the run-down location.

The property's poor condition is a major turn-off. The lack of luxury and amenities makes it feel like a dive bar. On the bright side, the capacity is surprisingly large, but it's not enough to save the club from its overall mediocrity.

How property is scored
HOW PROPERTY IS SCORED

Property weighting

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

PROPERTY · 24/100

The room

Don't bother with the run-down location.

The property's poor condition is a major turn-off. The lack of luxury and amenities makes it feel like a dive bar. On the bright side, the capacity is surprisingly large, but it's not enough to save the club from its overall mediocrity.

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Atmosphere 1.7
  • Location 1.0
  • Privacy 5.1
  • Parking 1.0
  • Luxury 1.0
  • Amenities 3.4
  • Capacity 3.4
9/100

Expect terrible service and a dirty atmosphere.

The service is abysmal, with dirty conditions and a lack of respect from staff. The speed of service is also painfully slow. Unless you're looking for a place to vent your frustrations, there's no reason to subject yourself to this kind of treatment.

How service is scored
HOW SERVICE IS SCORED

Service weighting

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

SERVICE · 9/100

The hospitality

Expect terrible service and a dirty atmosphere.

The service is abysmal, with dirty conditions and a lack of respect from staff. The speed of service is also painfully slow. Unless you're looking for a place to vent your frustrations, there's no reason to subject yourself to this kind of treatment.

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Door service 1.0
  • Bar service 1.0
  • Speed 1.7
  • Respect 1.7
  • Safety 1.0
  • Cleanliness 1.0
  • Value 1.0
60/100

Forget the food, it's a joke.

The food is a complete disaster, with subpar quality and overpriced drinks. The prices are outrageous, and the selection is limited. If you're a foodie, you'll want to steer clear of this place and find somewhere else to eat.

How food is scored
HOW FOOD IS SCORED

Food weighting

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

FOOD · 60/100

The kitchen

Forget the food, it's a joke.

The food is a complete disaster, with subpar quality and overpriced drinks. The prices are outrageous, and the selection is limited. If you're a foodie, you'll want to steer clear of this place and find somewhere else to eat.

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Food quality 1.0
  • Food prices 1.0
  • Drink prices 6.0
  • Bottle prices 1.0
  • Luxury 1.0
  • Cigars & hookah 1.0
  • Value 1.0
10/100

The dancers are non-existent.

The performers are non-existent, with no talent on the floor. The appearance style is lacking, and the interaction with customers is nonexistent. Unless you're looking for a place to people-watch, there's no reason to bother with this club.

How performers is scored
HOW PERFORMERS IS SCORED

Performers weighting

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

PERFORMERS · 10/100

The floor

The dancers are non-existent.

The performers are non-existent, with no talent on the floor. The appearance style is lacking, and the interaction with customers is nonexistent. Unless you're looking for a place to people-watch, there's no reason to bother with this club.

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Talent quality 1.0
  • Appearance & style 1.0
  • Interaction 1.0
  • Professionalism 1.7
  • VIP value 1.0
  • Dance value 3.4
HOW IT'S SCORED

Overall SW Score weighting

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

SW SCORE · 16/100

How scoring works

All-around disaster.

The club's low scores across the board make it a forgettable experience. From the lackluster atmosphere to the unimpressive performers, there's little to redeem it. Unless you're looking for a place to avoid, there's no reason to give this club a try.

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.

Dimension scores
  • Property 24
  • Service 9
  • Food 60
  • Performers 10
  • Value 40
Rate this club

Your take, one tap at a time.

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0 of 27 rated

What the floor said

1 review
70/100 SW score
Not what I expected but okay Came here after a long day of meetings expecting a traditional club atmosphere. It's more of a massage setup with private rooms, which was fine once I adjusted my expectations. The parking situation is absolutely terrible though - had to circle the block multiple times.
50/100 SW score
Rushed and disappointing Been to most places around town and this one falls short. The whole experience felt rushed from start to finish, and the staff seemed more interested in turning tables than providing any real service. Atmosphere is pretty dead too - feels more like a clinic than entertainment venue.
40/100 SW score
Skip this one Visiting from out of state and this was a waste of money. No parking anywhere nearby and once inside it's just not worth the hassle. Service was unprofessional and overpriced for what you get.
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