King of Diamonds

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Grim building with no parking, no vibe.

The building itself is a dud. Atmosphere and luxury are nonexistent, parking is absent, capacity and privacy don't matter when the place feels abandoned. It's the kind of room that makes you want to leave before you arrive.

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Staff doesn't care, place is filthy.

Door service, bar service, speed, respect, safety, cleanliness—pick any metric and it fails. Staff treats customers like an inconvenience. The place is filthy. You'll feel disrespected and unsafe. Don't expect hospitality.

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Overpriced garbage, drinks taste like regret.

Drinks are overpriced and taste bad. Food quality is nonexistent. Bottle prices are a ripoff. Cigars and hookah? Forget it. You'll pay too much for something that tastes like it came from a gas station. Eat and drink elsewhere.

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

No talent, no effort, no point.

Zero talent, zero professionalism, zero interaction. The dancers look like they don't want to be there—because they probably don't. VIP value and dance value are myths. You're paying to watch people who clearly resent the job.

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

Dead on arrival—zero redeeming qualities.

King of Diamonds is a complete failure across every dimension. Atmosphere, luxury, amenities, location, parking—all bottomed out. There's nothing here worth your time or money. Go literally anywhere else.

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.