New Shakers

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

A crummy old building with no charm.

The property is a major letdown – a run-down building with no atmosphere. The low luxury and amenities scores suggest a lack of investment in creating a comfortable space. If you're looking for a dive bar, this might be your spot, but don't expect much.

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Disinterested staff with a hint of disdain.

Service is abysmal, with staff seeming completely uninterested in helping. The low respect and safety scores are particularly concerning, suggesting a culture of apathy. If you value being treated with respect, look elsewhere.

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Overpriced swill with a few decent drinks.

Food prices are outrageous, and the quality is subpar. The few decent drinks are overpriced, and the cigar and hookah options are non-existent. If you're a foodie or a drink connoisseur, you'll be disappointed.

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Somehow, dancers still danced, but it was awkward.

The performers are the only redeeming quality, but even they can't save the experience. The talent is decent, but the awkward interactions and lack of professionalism make it hard to enjoy. If you're a fan of dancers, you might find some entertainment value, but be prepared for a weird experience.

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

Complete waste of time.

Overall, New Shakers is a disappointing experience. The low scores across the board reflect a general lack of effort in creating a welcoming environment. Unless you're desperate, you can do better elsewhere.

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.