SW Community
Closed Strip Club

Osaka Massage and Relax

New Orleans, LA 3941 Downman Rd 504- 612-5348
Closed
Strip Club Topless 21+
Hours
Hours not published.
On tap
VIP Rooms
Private Booths
0/100
How this is scored
0/100
How property is scored
HOW PROPERTY IS SCORED

Property weighting

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

PROPERTY · 0/100

The room

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Atmosphere 1.0
  • Location 1.0
  • Privacy 1.0
  • Parking 1.0
  • Luxury 1.0
  • Amenities 1.0
  • Capacity 1.0
0/100
How service is scored
HOW SERVICE IS SCORED

Service weighting

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

SERVICE · 0/100

The hospitality

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Door service 1.0
  • Bar service 1.0
  • Speed 1.0
  • Respect 1.0
  • Safety 1.0
  • Cleanliness 1.0
  • Value 1.0
0/100
How food is scored
HOW FOOD IS SCORED

Food weighting

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

FOOD · 0/100

The kitchen

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Food quality 1.0
  • Food prices 1.0
  • Drink prices 1.0
  • Bottle prices 1.0
  • Luxury 1.0
  • Cigars & hookah 1.0
  • Value 1.0
0/100
How performers is scored
HOW PERFORMERS IS SCORED

Performers weighting

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

PERFORMERS · 0/100

The floor

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Talent quality 1.0
  • Appearance & style 1.0
  • Interaction 1.0
  • Professionalism 1.0
  • VIP value 1.0
  • Dance value 1.0
HOW IT'S SCORED

Overall SW Score weighting

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

SW SCORE · 0/100

How scoring works

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.

Dimension scores
  • Property 0
  • Service 0
  • Food 0
  • Performers 0
  • Value 0
Rate this club

Your take, one tap at a time.

A quick 6-step walkthrough — 4 categories of spiderweb ratings plus a written review at the end. Takes about 2 minutes.

0 of 27 rated

What the floor said

0 reviews
50/100 SW score
Not what I expected Called ahead like they said but still got turned away when I showed up. The place feels more like a sketchy clinic than anything relaxing. When I finally did get in another day, they kept asking for more money beyond what we agreed on.
30/100 SW score
Waste of time and money Advertised an hour session but was done in maybe 10 minutes. Zero atmosphere, feels like you're in a doctor's waiting room. The professionalism is non-existent and the value is terrible for what you get.
40/100 SW score
Inconsistent at best Tried calling multiple times but their phone seems to be out of service. Finally went in person and the service was rushed with constant upselling. The whole setup feels amateur and the respect level is pretty low.
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