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© 2026 Stripper Warehouse

Closed Strip Club

Rumors Cabaret

Columbia, MO 2306 Business Loop 70 E 573-817-1877
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Closed Opens 19:00 today
Strip Club Topless 21+
Hours
MON 19:00 - 03:00 TODAY
TUE 19:00 - 03:00
WED 19:00 - 03:00
THU 19:00 - 03:00
FRI 19:00 - 04:00
SAT 19:00 - 04:00
SUN Closed
On tap
VIP Rooms
Private Booths
WiFi
Find it
2306 Business Loop 70 E
Columbia, MO 573-817-1877 rumorscabaret.net
0/100
How this is scored
0/100
How property is scored
HOW PROPERTY IS SCORED

Property weighting

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

PROPERTY · 0/100

The room

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Atmosphere 6.0
  • Location 5.1
  • Privacy 7.0
  • Parking 1.0
  • Luxury 3.4
  • Amenities 7.0
  • Capacity 4.3
0/100
How service is scored
HOW SERVICE IS SCORED

Service weighting

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

SERVICE · 0/100

The hospitality

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Door service 4.3
  • Bar service 4.3
  • Speed 3.5
  • Respect 7.0
  • Safety 3.4
  • Cleanliness 5.1
  • Value 5.1
0/100
How food is scored
HOW FOOD IS SCORED

Food weighting

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

FOOD · 0/100

The kitchen

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Food quality 1.0
  • Food prices 1.0
  • Drink prices 7.0
  • Bottle prices 1.0
  • Luxury 3.4
  • Cigars & hookah 1.0
  • Value 5.1
0/100
How performers is scored
HOW PERFORMERS IS SCORED

Performers weighting

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

PERFORMERS · 0/100

The floor

Sub-metrics (0-10)
  • Talent quality 6.0
  • Appearance & style 6.0
  • Interaction 6.0
  • Professionalism 3.0
  • VIP value 3.5
  • Dance value 7.0
HOW IT'S SCORED

Overall SW Score weighting

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

SW SCORE · 0/100

How scoring works

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.

Dimension scores
  • Property 0
  • Service 0
  • Food 0
  • Performers 0
  • Value 0
Rate this club

Your take, one tap at a time.

A quick 6-step walkthrough — 4 categories of spiderweb ratings plus a written review at the end. Takes about 2 minutes.

0 of 27 rated

What the floor said

0 reviews
80/100 SW score
WeekendMike
bachelor party
DJ keeps it real, but management is sketchy Came for a bachelor party and the DJ was honestly the best part—he actually knows how to read a room and keep energy up. Dancers are hit or miss depending on the night, and the single stage means you're fighting for sightlines. The BYOB thing saves money though, which is clutch. Just wish the vibe felt less chaotic.
50/100 SW score
RegularJay
regular
Good for the juice bar angle, bad for peace of mind I've been a few times because the BYOB policy is genuinely different from other spots around here. But man, there's always something off—staff acting weird, sketchy people hanging around, and you never know if the dancers are gonna show up or if it's gonna be a slow night. The music's solid when the DJ's on, at least.
60/100 SW score
FirstTimerCT
first-timer
Decent value, but proceed with caution Twenty bucks a dance is reasonable and I appreciated being able to bring my own bottle. The place isn't fancy by any means—it's pretty bare-bones with one stage and some booths. Some girls looked great, others not so much. Felt a bit uncomfortable with how some staff were acting, so I didn't stay long.
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