Satin Dolls

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Bleak box with no redeeming location or vibe.

The room itself is a problem. Zero atmosphere, zero luxury, zero amenities. Location is bad, parking is bad, capacity is irrelevant when privacy doesn't exist. You'll feel trapped and unwelcome. Hard pass.

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Hostile, unsafe, filthy—avoid the staff.

Staff doesn't care and it shows everywhere. Door service is cold, bar service is slow and disrespectful, cleanliness is nonexistent, and safety is a joke. You'll feel disrespected the moment you walk in. Don't bother.

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Overpriced garbage, don't eat or drink here.

Drinks are overpriced swill, bottles are a ripoff, food is inedible trash. Cigar and hookah service is absent. Everything costs too much and tastes like punishment. Stick to water and leave hungry.

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

No talent, no effort, no reason to stay.

Zero talent, zero professionalism, zero interaction. Dancers show no effort, no style, no respect for the job. VIP and dance value are imaginary. You came to see nothing. Save your money.

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

Complete dead zone—skip this entirely.

Every single metric flatlines at zero. Atmosphere, luxury, amenities, location, parking—all dead. Door service, bar service, cleanliness, respect, safety—all missing. Talent, appearance, interaction, professionalism—nonexistent. This isn't a club; it's a cautionary tale. Go literally anywhere else.

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.