The Crazy Horse

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Tiny, cramped space with no parking.

The cramped space and lack of parking make it difficult to enjoy the club. The tiny room feels claustrophobic, and the poor location makes it hard to get to. If you're looking for a luxurious experience, look elsewhere.

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Zero respect from door staff.

The door staff here are completely unprofessional, with zero respect for customers. The bar service is slow, and the overall atmosphere feels unwelcoming. Unless you enjoy being treated poorly, it's best to avoid.

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Bland food with outrageous drink prices.

The food at the Crazy Horse is bland and overpriced, with outrageous drink prices to match. The quality of the food is subpar, and the options are limited. If you're looking for a good meal, look elsewhere.

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Talentless dancers with no chemistry.

The dancers here lack chemistry and talent, with performances that feel forced and unenthusiastic. The appearance style is lackluster, and the interaction with the audience is minimal. Unless you're a fan of subpar performances, it's best to avoid.

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

Crazy, overpriced, and completely forgettable.

The Crazy Horse feels like a chaotic, overpriced mess. Low scores across the board indicate a lack of polish in every aspect. Unless you're a die-hard fan of mediocre performances, it's best to avoid.

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.