The LumberYard

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Dirty, cramped, nowhere to park.

Atmosphere, luxury, amenities, location, parking, capacity, and privacy all bottom out. The room itself is unwelcoming and poorly designed. You'll struggle to find parking and feel cramped once inside.

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Staff doesn't care, place is unsafe.

Door service, bar service, respect, safety, and cleanliness are all nonexistent. Staff moves slow, doesn't care, and the place feels genuinely unsafe. Expect to be ignored or disrespected.

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Overpriced garbage you shouldn't eat.

Food quality, drink quality, and pricing are all terrible. Everything is overpriced for what you get, and you won't want to eat or drink anything here. Skip the kitchen entirely.

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

No talent, no professionalism, no reason to stay.

Talent quality, appearance, interaction, professionalism, and dance value are all rock bottom. The dancers show no skill, no style, and no interest in engaging. There's no reason to book a VIP or stay for a dance.

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

Skip it entirely.

The LumberYard is a complete washout across every dimension. Zero scores on property, service, food, and performers tell the real story—nothing works here. Don't waste your time or money.

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.