The Mansion

Property weighs 7 sub-metrics — atmosphere, location, privacy, parking, luxury, amenities, capacity — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 property score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

The location is terrible, in the middle of nowhere.

The location is a major issue, making it hard to get to and from. The parking situation is also a nightmare. The only good thing about the property is the capacity, but that's not saying much. Expect a cramped and uncomfortable experience.

Service weighs 7 sub-metrics — door, bar, speed, respect, safety, clean, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 service score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

You'll get the worst service of your life here.

The door service is non-existent, and the bar service is slow and unfriendly. Respect and safety are major concerns, with a complete lack of attention to detail. Don't expect to be treated like a valued customer.

Food weighs 7 sub-metrics — quality, price, drinks, bottles, luxury, cigar, value — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 food score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

Don't even think about ordering food, it's a joke.

The food quality is abysmal, with overpriced and underwhelming options. The drink prices are just as bad, with no value for the money. The only thing that's not terrible is the selection of bottles, but that's not enough to save the food department.

Performers weighs 6 sub-metrics — talent, style, interact, pro, vip, dance — each scored 0–10. They roll up into the single 0–100 performers score.

Signals come from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. The overall dot on the radar is the average shape across these sub-metrics.

The dancers are unimpressive and completely unengaged.

The talent quality is subpar, with dancers who seem completely uninterested in their work. The appearance style is also a major letdown, with a lack of creativity and flair. The only positive is the interaction with the performers, but even that's not enough to make up for the overall lack of professionalism.

Each point on the radar is a dimension scored 0–100, weighted by how much it shapes a night out. Balanced shapes mean well-rounded clubs; spikes mean a venue excels at one thing but not others.

Tap any dimension's own info icon to see which sub-metrics feed into it.

A complete disappointment from start to finish.

The overall experience is a disaster, with no redeeming qualities. From the awful location to the subpar performers, every aspect of this club is a letdown. Unless you're a glutton for punishment, stay far, far away.

SW Score is a weighted composite across four dimensions — property, service, food, and performers — measured across 27 sub-metrics and a separate value score.

Sub-metric signals are pulled from verified reviews, venue data, and website text. Each dimension rolls up into a 0-100 score, which feeds the weighted overall.

How to read the shape: a balanced radar means a well-rounded club. A spiked shape means it excels at one thing and not others. Tap any dimension below for its full breakdown.